The Invisible girl

Kate Bornstein's autobiography

Tue, 26 Jun 2012 10:39:00 -0400

Just thought I’d post a link to Kate Bornstein’s autobiography A Queer and Pleasant Danger.

For those who don’t know, Kate Bornstein is an American author, playwright, performance artist, and gender theorist. She’s known for writing books such as Gender Outlaws, My Gender Workbook, and Hello Cruel World.

This autobiography starts out during Kate’s early childhood, when she was living as a Jewish boy in New-Jersey. Eventually, Kate grows up and decides to join the Church of Scientology. After being kicked out, Bornstein decides to explore her gender identity, moving away from her role as a birth assigned male, into a new life entirely.

I finished the book last night, and I must say, it was a real exciting and wonderful journey. I do recommend reading it. Whether you’re trans* or not, this is a truly fascinating insight into the life of an incredibly unique individual.

Purchase here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Queer-Pleasant-Danger-Jewish-Scientology/dp/0807001651/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_2

Photo

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 19:35:48 -0400

:)

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 19:20:02 -0400

If you're a feminist who understands the (apparently not) radical concept that women can have penises and men can have vaginas (and that there are people with either or both of those who may very well identify as neither a man nor a woman), would you mind reblogging this? I could really use a little faith in humanity being restored right about now.

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 19:00:12 -0400

art-of-chelsoir: Gender by ~Zathuraexe

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 15:25:46 -0400

art-of-chelsoir:

Gender by ~Zathuraexe

Gender should not be dictated by our genitals

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 20:09:00 -0400

I’ve just returned from a friend’s house where a rather heated argument regarding trans* identity broke out. It was I against three people. I didn’t want to argue, but I just couldn’t help myself.

One of my mates turned the channel over to Big Brother. I never wanted them to put it on in the first place, as I knew that there was a transsexual man on the show this year, and that the people I was with would more than likely make some sort of bigoted remark toward him.

My fears were correct, as the three people with me began referring to this guy as a “she”. They also began to refer to him as a weirdo too, which was just too cruel for my ears to take. I couldn’t endure it any longer; I just had to correct them on their pronouns and insults. I told them that he identifies as a man, he lives as a man and therefore he is a man, regardless of his initial birth assigned gender.

Without a moment’s hesitation, they pounced on me like wolves; telling me that I was wrong in my claims. I tried to tell them that someones birth genitals and biology does not necessarily define them as simply a man or a woman.

They retorted by telling me that biology determines everything in regards to their gender, and that is - according to them - a stone cold fact which cannot be changed. I tried with all my might to tell them that gender expression and gender identity is so much more than this. I wanted them to see that humans are more than just their chromosomes and genitals. Sadly, my words fell upon deaf ears.

I couldn’t sway their world view. These three people were convinced that I was deluded. “Everything’s based on science” they said, “and science says that the person on the [television] screen is a woman!”

This is a cruel assumption. This traditional idea of the male and female binary is not simply what makes a person a boy or a girl. People must move away from this habitual beleif that sex and gender are the exact same thing. Yes, a majority of us are assigned a specific gender by our doctors at birth, but that doesn’t make it official or final.

It really does saden me. All this talk of “people with penises are men, people with vaginas are women” is merely oppressing the freedom of gender expression and gender identity. Let people live in the gender that they want to live in, despite the goddamn organ that happens to exist between their legs. What’s downstairs is no one elses bleeding business anyway!

I’d truely love for my friends to be able to understand gender diversity in the way that I do. But every time this goddamn subject pops up, I get offended and we end up arguing about it.

It’s a shame, because it means that if I do decided to start living as a woman, they’ll probably never accept me as one. They know that I was born a “guy”, therefore they’ll forever ignore my desired identity based on my DNA.

As my friend drove me home, I just wanted to burst into tears. I was seconds away from just admitting “I’m transgender. That’s why I was distressed by what you were saying.”

I was so close to blurting it out, but I backed out at the last second. I decided that coming out to my friend whilst upset and mad was not the right way to go about this situation.

So now I’m back at home and I feel like dirt. Whenever I have these arguments with people I feel so hopelessly alone in the world. I bet they’re all bitching about me now: saying how daft my claims were.

I just wish that they could understand that peoples identity should not be solely defined by their genitals. Surely in the 21st century, people can be more open minded about such subjects. I just hope, that one day, societies perceptions toward gender will evolve and reshape themselves for the better.

Photo

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 09:39:28 -0400

Petition for the formal recognition of the gender neutral 'Mx' title in the UK

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 07:17:51 -0400

Petition for the formal recognition of the gender neutral 'Mx' title in the UK:

genderedintelligence:

This is a petition to the UK govenrment to formally adopt the Mx title in the UK.

Mx is used instead of Mr, Ms, Mrs or Miss (etc) by people who do not identify as male or female, or just feel more comfortable using an non-gendered title.

If you live in the UK and want to support people who need a gender neutral title (or you want to be able to use one yourself!) please sign this petition and share widely.

Everyone’s beautiful

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 15:19:00 -0400

The other day, I wrote a rather dismal post that involved me jealously moaning about a teenage trans* girl who I thought was far better looking than me. Looking back on that blog now has made me realise just what a rude and selfish fool I was being. I say this because today I’ve realised that absolutely everyone is beautiful, despite what they might think.

I understand that this may sound like one of those clichéd ridden, feel-good blogs, and perhaps it is, but that doesn’t make my my words any less valid. I earnestly believe that whether you’re overweight, underweight, short, tall, hairy, hairless, scruffy, tidy, muscular, puny, masculine or feminine; we’re all extraordinarily gorgeous in our own unique and wonderful ways.

People may judge you for the way that you might look, but their opinion isn’t factual. They have no evidence to back their words up with. Just because a neighbour or a friend might think that you’re weird looking or unappealing does not mean that they’ve uncovered some universal truth. Those people are not your designer and they didn’t create the concept of beauty. They just happen to possess an opinion of what is fetching and what is the opposite. Their perspectives are not universal and there shall always be people who disagree with them.

Even if a large proportion of society beleives that someone is considered ugly, it doesn’t make them right. Many people were once convinced that the world was flat, yet look how wrong that turned out to be. You don’t see professors of geology going “well all evidence suggests that the earth is spherical in shape, but then to counter that, people did say that it was flat.” Of course they don’t. They simply admit that everyone was completely wrong.

At university, there was a young girl named Lilly. Lilly was a 20 year old trans* woman who was often mocked and criticised for “not being feminine enough”. Her housemates called her ugly and some people even got annoyed that she “didn’t make a convincing enough female”. But guess what? I saw her, and they were wrong! She was an attractive girl. So what if she didn’t totally “pass” in the conventional birth-assigned-female way. She made a good looking woman. Girls most certainly do not need to be 100% feminine to look good; they look great in every shape and size.

Society has built this paradigm of what is ugly and what is beautiful. The social engineers of society (e.g. TV, films, parents, peers, teachers and magazines) have fed us this dumb lie that a certain type of girl is beautiful; whilst anyone who doesn’t match their criteria is apparently unworthy of attention. What a pathetic little lie this paradigm is. Yes, the slim and feminine women in these magazines and films do look fantastic, but so does every other girl.

And for that matter, every single gender that exists looks fantastic. This is not just a “girls are beautiful” post. Every goddamn human looks superb in one way or another.

If anyone out there feels like crap because some heartless fool called them fat, manly, ugly or whorish, tell them to get stuffed. People criticise others no matter what they look like.

I get criticised all the time; no matter how I look.

Back in 2008 I was fifteen stone, whereas today I’m ten stone. Back then, my friends use to call me fat. They told me that I needed to get to the gym, that I should buy some bigger clothes and that I must quit the booze before I get fatter. Today, however, my friends’ say I look ill. They insist that I stop exercising so profusely, that I need to start purchasing clothes for a slimmer build and that I need to get a goddamn Guinness down my throat before I curl over and die.

But screw them; I like my new slim look. I love working out, eating healthily and coming across as more feminine. They may not like it, but then I’m not doing it for them; I’m doing it all for me. And if I get big again, well so what. I enjoyed myself when I was fifteen stone. I ate well and I enjoyed my booze. Doesn’t matter what my friends and enemies thought about me. It’s not their goddamn body!

So on the whole, my self-pitying blog from several days ago is a load of old tosh. Whether you’re cis or trans*, everybody looks bloody fabulous, including me. Does that make me a self-loving fool? Why yes it does, but then everyone should feel that way about themselves, because they’re goddamn incredible!

Remember that judgements are light years away from facts; they’re just the by-products of idiots who can’t keep their silly traps shut.

Debating with friends: a bleeding waste of time

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 12:36:00 -0400

It happens all the time. I’m down the pub with a group of friends. At first, everything is hunky dory. We’re chatting about our day, joking about something one of us did during a drunken night out, or rambling on about the latest film/tv show.

Then, at some point or another, one of us will say something that triggers a disagreement. It can be absolutely anything, but the moment one of us objects, everything kicks off.

The next thing you know, the table divides into opposing groups. Sometimes, it can be a petty little squabble over who likes or hates Lady Gaga; at other times, it can be an hour long battle over our political and religious ideologies.

Some people absolutely adore debating with their friends and enemies. They feel it flexes their mental muscles, strengthens their communication skills and helps to teach a lesson to those who don’t know any better. But I don’t give a damn what it does for others, I despise it with a passion.

Watching a debate occure can be quite an interesting experience. So long as I’m not an active participant in the discussion, all is well. Two people disagreeing over something can be both entertaining and educational. Whether it’s the enjoyment of two buffoons bickering over their favourite movie or a couple of intelligent individuals tackling a tricky subject, the whole event can be an incredibly enlightening experience.

But when I’m actively involved in a disagreement, it’s a walking nightmare. I sweat copiously, stammer uncontrollably, grow frustrated at my opponents opinions and quickly become offended when the opposing side resorts to petty insults (e.g. “you’re an idiot” or “I know more about this than you”).

The major problem with debating amongst friends is that both sides are often too arrogant to reason with. It doesn’t really matter what you’re discussing as each side is religiously convinced that their claims are 100% correct.

When you’re passively observing an argument, you can indeed acquire information from both viewpoints. You’ve nothing to prove and no ego to preserve; freeing yourself to learn from what is being said.

When you’re slap bang in the middle of a disagreement, however, you couldn’t give a toss about what the other person says. All people care about is throwing as many ideas and statistics at their opponent’s face as is humanly possible.

Even if one side has a more valid and watertight opinion, the opposing team will rarely change their stance. When was the last time you saw a conservative student agree with a liberal student (or vice versa of course)?

This happened to me last week. I was in the pub with my friend Anton. At random, he began to badmouth another friend’s girlfriend. Despite our friend absolutely adoring his girlfriend, Anton arrogantly stated that she should be taken away from him immediately. His reason was because she suffers from depression and self-harms. In his opinion, self-harm is mutilation and therefore morally wrong, whilst depression has negative effects on people close to the sufferer.

I immediately became enraged at his claims, accusing him of being thoughtless and disrespectful. I told him that just because he doesn’t understand another person’s behaviour and because their actions may not fit in with his moral criteria does not give him the right to judge whether or not that person should be in a relationship.

He aggressively disagreed with me and for the next hour we shouted at one another; coming up with as many facts, philosophical comebacks and hypothetical scenarios’ as we could conjure. We only stopped when we were both too exhausted to continue.

Afterward, the two of us didn’t speak for several days. We were both pretty pissed off at each other for spending our previous encounter yelling at one another.

Despite all the bickering, neither of us changed our position on what we stood for. All we managed to do was accuse the other of being incorrect. Nothing beneficial came from our words at all.

I certainly don’t think that debating is a bad thing. It allows free-thought to flow amongst humankind, gives varying sides to every idea, stimulates people’s thought patterns and allows individuals to readjust their core beliefs.

I’m just so sick and tired of fighting with my friends over every opinion and idea that we differ on. We’re different people with varying ideologies, tastes and lifestyles.

From now on, I think I’ll let the professionals and gifted speakers do the debating. I’m done with squabbling amongst my nearest and dearest. The next time that they say something which I disagree with, I’ll either try to ignore them or recommend them some books which state otherwise.

Compulsive purchasing

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 07:55:00 -0400

For the past four years, I’ve been participating in a rather frustrating act: impulse purchasing. Compulsive buying has become such a persistent and cost consuming procedure for me that I now have to avoid the high streets like the plague.

A lot of people have this uncontrollable attitude when it comes to clothes shopping. The moment they walk into a store and see a garment that they adore, they dash to the changing rooms, praying that it comes in their size.

For me, however, the obsessive nature of impulse buying seems to lie not with clothes, but with books.

This is how my Saturdays will often play out. I’m walking through the high street with a friend, happily peaking into the variety of shops which surround us. “Fancy popping to Waterstones for a moment?” are the words that suddenly sprout from the mouth of my companion.

“Hmm, should we? I kind of need to save this £20” comes my unenthusiastic response.

“Well just don’t spend it. We only have to browse” is their never changing solution.

It’s pretty much impossible to argue with this retort, so moments later, we’ll be inside. Within seconds I can feel the stores atmosphere taking control of my emotions. I gaze around at the stuffed shelves; admiring the gracefully designed covers, taking in the majestic aroma of fresh paper and gawping mindlessly at the never-ending variety of subjects that I have yet to read up on.

I am a victim of this compulsive market: this psychological strategy that book companies have masterfully crafted.

“I’m not going to buy anything!” I command to myself, and at first, it seems to be working. I casually browse the shop, taking mental notes of the all titles which I can buy on my next pay day. I’m totally convinced that I will leave empty handed. Everything seems fine in those early moments, but it never lasts. Sooner or later, something always gives.

Out of the blue, I’ll come across a book which grasps my inquisitiveness. “Oh” I’ll say, in a pleasing tone of curiosity, “The Stuff of Thought. What an attractive and appealing title.”

Seconds later, I’ll pick it up, promising myself that I’m just peeking at the opening pages. For those brief moments I almost feel as if I’ve beaten the bookstore in some way. There I am, reading a book, for free! Oh how cost efficient and un-capitalist of me.

Except I haven’t won; in fact, from the moment I picked up that blasted book, I am doomed to purchase. No matter how interesting or boring it may be, I always find those opening few pages mind numbingly mesmerizing. I read them with sheer delight, thinking that my mind has come across a text which can change my world forever. I feel as though I’m already learning something new, despite only being two pages into the bleeding thing.

“I must have it!” I declare, “By the end of this book, I’ll be light years ahead in my intellect!” And moments later, without further delay, the book is officially mine. At this point, I’m about £10 down, but I really don’t give a damn. I’m convinced that the item in my hand is the finest thing that mankind has ever written. £10 seems like a generous bargain at that moment in time (until, that is, I go on Amazon to discover that I could’ve purchased it for £2.50).

When I return home that evening I open the pages of my new book, discovering that the words on the pages are not as incredible as I’d initially assumed. Often, the content will be too complicated for my feeble little mind, the theories are too abstract, I have no previous knowledge in the subject matter and my disappointment toward the text makes me too distracted to consume any of its information.

After a short-lived sulk, I slide the book onto the shelf, where it will almost indefinitely remain forever.

At that point, I’m feeling stupid. Not only was I suckered into compulsive purchasing, but I also feel like a fool for not understanding the author’s writing. Now I believe I must prove to myself that I’m not an unintelligent nitwit by taking out my kindle and ordering five new books.

This sort of twaddle happens on a weekly basis. I purchase – on average – one physical book a week and five additional e-books. This has been going on for four years now, meaning that I have accumulated an army of the damn things. My room is now covered in shelving, crammed with hundreds of unread items.

When friends come to the house, they marvel at the quantity of literature which surrounds my living space, forever complimenting me on how smart I must be. Except the problem is, I’m not smart. These books have barely been touched since their day of purchase. Out of the hundreds of paperbacks and hardbacks which have been paid for in my name, hardly any of them have been looked at for more than a few minutes.

Some may think I’m doing this to try and give off the illusion to my peers that I’m clever, but I don’t think that this is the case. I’m just a victim to compulsive buying. The purchasing of a shiny new release with an interesting introduction seems to make my day. It doesn’t matter how miserable I may be, the second that block of paper is in my bag, the better my immediate world becomes.

This would be fine, except for the fact that it’s too costly for my unemployed self, too space consuming for my tiny boxed room, and far too irrelevant as they are never going to be used.

Hopefully soon I can shake this habitual behaviour and begin to dedicate my spare time to not just purchasing books, but to actually reading them.

Romney blocked antibullying guide for use of "bisexual" and "transgender"

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 05:32:50 -0400

Romney blocked antibullying guide for use of "bisexual" and "transgender":

gaywrites:

The Boston Globe has recovered documents showing that former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney’s administration blocked an antibullying guide from being published in 2006 because it included the words “bisexual” and “transgender.”

At the time, Romney said that the public school antibullying guide wouldn’t be published because it was lengthy and needed review. But the Globe located an email from a public official saying otherwise:

“Because this is using the terms ‘bisexual’ and ‘transgendered,’ DPH’s name may not be used in this publication,’’ wrote the official, Alda Rego-Weathers, then the deputy commissioner of the Massachusetts Department of Public Health.

This appears to have been part of Romney’s strategy to distance himself from the LGBT community as a way to gear up for his first presidential run and appease social conservatives. About 10,000 copies of the guide were ultimately printed in 2008 after Romney left office, containing information for teachers and administrators on how to stop bullying and hazing.

“Romney put his own political interests ahead of the safety of vulnerable youth,’’ said Don Gorton, a gay-rights advocate and author of the 120-page antibullying report, which was not printed and distributed until after Romney left office.

Well this is certainly good to know. Every piece of information that surfaces about Romney’s past gets more terrifying.

Useful Resources, vol. 2: Films

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 11:15:00 -0400

This is the second entry in a series of posts dedicated to the different types of resources which have helped me come to terms with being trans*.

In this post, I look at the films which I believe help to portray transgender people in a more positive manner than the stereotype-enforcing programmes such as The Jerry Springer Show.

There are movies which often like poking fun at individuals who cross society’s gender boundaries. Sometimes, films simply enjoy generating humour from the concept of crossdressing (Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire/Tony Curtis & Jack Lemmon in Some Like it Hot), whereas at other times, they tend to feel the need to reinforce negative stereotypes and myths aimed at trans*people (The Hangover: Part II springs to mind).

At times, I perceive this kind of fun making as just some daft attempt at humour on the writers behalf. At other times, however, I find myself offended at such on screen mockery, wondering why on earth the filmmakers decided to revive such ignorant myths.

However cinema isn’t always a negative environment for Trans* people. In fact, I’ve come across numerous features which happen to be quite positive toward our community. Here are some examples.

Soldier’s Girl (2003)

A film which apparently receieved little publicity upon it’s release. Soldier’s Girl is based on the true story of the relationship between US Soldier Barry Winchell and transgender showgirl Calpernia Addams. In 1999, Winchell was brutally beaten to death by one of his fellow comrades. The murder took place because of Barry’s relationship with a trans* woman.

This is a truly heartbreaking tale which explores the hatred and ignorance which flows throughout our society. Barry was just a young kid who happened to fall in love with a transgender woman, yet because of the discrimination and lack of understanding which circulated amongst his colleageus, he lost his life at the early age of 21.

This is also a film which heavily criticises the revolting ‘dont ask don’t tell policy’ that was still in existence during the time of Barry’s murder, explicitly showing the effects which such a policy can have on American soldiers.

This film can be tough going, and if you’re sensitive to violence then maybe this isn’t for you. But nevertheless, Soldier’s Girl is a beautiful film which explores the love between two people, as well as the hatred of those who were unwilling understand them.

I saw this film about a year and a half ago and it still haunts me to this very day.

Different for Girls (1996)

During their school years, Karl Foyle and Paul Prentice were the best of friends. Karl was forever bullied due to his suspected sexuality; so Paul took it upon himself to protect him in the playground.

After school ended, the two lost contact with one another. Many years later, however, Paul bumps into his old friend, only to discover that Karl is now Kim.

Different for Girls focuses mainly on its two core protagonists rebuilding their long faded friendship, as well as the prejudice and misunderstandings that Kim faces from both society and even Paul himself.

On one level the film examines some of the problems which trans* women face in modern day society, whilst on another it explores the friendship and love between two very different individuals.

It manages to be both a light hearted comedy and a social commentary all in one. The film is also smart and respectful enough to not revert to paranoid myths and hurtful stereotypes.

Whilst Soldier’s Girl acted as a tough examination into the love and hatred that members of our society can have toward one another, Different for Girls plays out more as a feel good movie; reminding its viewers that despite the troubles which some may receive from the world around them, they can still find the respect and belonging they deserve from those that are nearest to them.

Beautiful Boxer (2004)

This film chronicles the life story of Muaythai boxer Parinya Charoenphol and her journey to becoming Nong Toom.

Beautiful Boxer explores being transgender in the most fastidious manner imaginable: covering the subject in far more detail than any other film that I’ve seen before it.

During the early stages of the story, we see Toom as a young child, slowly growing more aware of where her real gender identity really lies. She’s been born as a birth assigned male, yet despite what gender her parents tell her to be, she just wants to be a girl.

As the narrative develops, the film begins to explore Toom’s boxing career; showing her notoriously adopting a crossdressing style to her boxing matches, as well as both the difficulties and support which she receives from her fellow fighters.

Finally, the story wraps up with Toom receiving the acceptance that she’s long needed from her father, allowing her to finally become the person that she’s always wanted to be.

Like the previous two films discussed, this is yet another touching and well thought out film that has a lot of respect for its subject matter. Not once does the film poke fun at Toom and neither does it resort to stereotyping her.

What I enjoyed the most about Beautiful Boxer was its biographical approach to Toom’s story. Instead of simply selecting a segment from this woman’s life, we are shown it from childhood to present; allowing viewers to observe and understand the struggles of a transgender person from several different stages of their life.

Beautiful Boxer delivers a rich level of empathy toward this character in an educational, entertaining and well executed manner.

The Crying Game (1992)

This isn’t really a transgender film in itself, as the story covers more than just the gender identity of Dil. In the years since The Crying Game hit theatres, its story has often been overshadowed by the infamous revelation sequence that occurs at the films halfway mark. The overall meaning behind this picture, however, is that of unconditional love and the anguish of guilt.

The film is a philosophical love story revolving around Fergus – an IRA member – who befriends one of his prisoners: Jody. After his death, Fergus decides to fulfil Jody’s wish by locating Dil - his lover from England – to tell her that he was thinking of her during his final moments.

When Fergus finally locates Dil, the two begin to develop a relationship between one another. Both characters, however, have secrets which the other is unaware of.

The Crying Game’s major plot twist is that Dil turns out to have been born a birth assigned male: a truth which is revealed in a rather overt manner.

Even though the character of Dil is often portrayed as somewhat promiscuous and exotic in nature, she’s also respectfully represented as a complex human being with a rich and enigmatic persona.

I like the well-rounded aspect that the film gives to Dil’s character and The Crying Game never once turns her into some kind of 2-demensional stereotype. From start to finish, Dil is portrayed as a human being and not a mythical caricature.

Unlike the previous films discussed, this one doesn’t exactly explore themes relating to what it’s like to be transgender. Instead The Crying Game is a story that has a lot of heart, a great insight into what it means to love and features some truly incredible performances from Jaye Davidson & Stephen Rea.

Transgender cinema is not the biggest of genres currently on the market, yet it’s one that seems to be gradually growing. Although many films have laughed at this subject in the past, there are also features out there that help to portray trans* people in a positive light; promoting some of the struggles and qualities of this lifestyle to mainstream culture.

Other transgender themed films that have received positive reviews (but I have yet to watch):

Boys Don’t Cry (1999)

The story of the life of Brandon Teena, a transgendered teen who preferred life in a male identity until it was discovered he was born biologically female (plot summary from: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0171804/) .

Normal (2003)

TV movie about a Midwestern husband and father announces his plan to have a sex change operation (plot summary from: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338290/).

Breakfast on Pluto (2003)

In the 1970s, a foundling lad, Patrick “Kitten” Braden, comes of age by leaving his Irish town for London, in part to look for his mother and in part because his transgender nature is beyond the town’s understanding (plot summary from: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0411195/).

Transamerica (2004)

A pre-operative male-to-female transsexual takes an unexpected journey when she learns that she fathered a son, now a teenage runaway hustling on the streets of New York (plot summary from: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0407265/).

Dear stranger in the street, I don’t laugh at you for the music...

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 17:40:43 -0400

Dear stranger in the street,

I don’t laugh at you for the music you play in your car…

I don’t ridicule you because of the vehicle you drive…

I don’t assault you because of your taste in fashion…

I don’t yell at you for the tattoos you own…

I don’t say anything to you at all…

So don’t judge me vocally either. Despite what you may think of me.

dearcispeople: I know that you’re not all cissexist assholes....

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 15:20:22 -0400

dearcispeople:

I know that you’re not all cissexist assholes. And that gives me a lot of hope. Thank you for being an ally, and doing what you can to help. It really sets you apart from the rest. Please know that your efforts don’t go unnoticed. We appreciate them more than you’ll ever know.

Useful Resources, vol. 1: Books

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 13:22:00 -0400

Thank goodness for the internet. I honestly don’t know how the previous generations managed it. If it wasn’t for the World Wide Web then I’d probably still be sitting around endlessly inventing daft excuses for why I am the way I am.

But thanks to the time period that I happened to have been born into, the internet has been my bread and butter. On that memorable December morning in 2009 – when I admitted to myself that I was transgender – the first thing that I did was jump onto my laptop and began searching for advice.

Soon enough, I uncovered endless pages with links to a diverse range of resources: ranging from books, podcasts, forums, advice columns and even films.

This post is set to be the first in a series of entries dedicated to some of the different resources that have helped me over the years.

In this entry, I shall be listing some of the books which I found to be of great use during my earlier days of self-discovery. Whether you’re trans* or cis, if you haven’t come across these books before then I do recommend checking them out. Hopefully you’ll enjoy them as much as I did.

***note: it has been many years since I last read these books, so my memory is a little sketchy in some areas. This means that there’s a possibility that some of the information which I state is inaccurate or incorrect. I apologise in advance if this is the case***

Alice in Genderland by Richard J. Novic

Richard J. Novic leads two lives. One of them involves a successful career with a loving wife and kids. But for one night a week, Richard becomes Alice; a girl who loves to go out dinning, shopping, and partying with her boyfriend.

This is the first memoir from a MTF crossdresser and spans Novic’s entire life.

I purchased this book soon after coming out to myself, and it did two very precise things for me.

Firstly, this book was a huge inspiration. The day before it arrived, I was convinced that there was no hope for me. I was certain that my future would consist of me living alone, despised by my loved ones, laughed at by my neighbours, and completely jobless as a result of my identity. This book, however, showed me that this is not always the case. Novic has it all; a loving wife, supportive family; accepting friends and a healthy career.

Secondly, this book helped to translate my thoughts and feelings into actual words. I was astonished to find that Novic had been through numerous experiences which reflected my own, endured the same sensations of doubt and denial and even experienced all the fear and shame that clouded my every thought.

As I read each page, I kept stopping to shout “I’ve been through that!” There’s nothing better than hearing your own thoughts spoken through the tongue of another, reminding you that you’re far from alone in this world.

Whether you’re trans* or not, Alice in Genderland is an incredible memoir, taking you explicitly and honestly through the life of a crossdresser. It’s both inspiring and educational for those who are fortunate enough to read it.

Transgender Warriors by Leslie Feinberg

We often hear about transgender men and women from the 20^th and 21^st century, but when do we hear of transgender people prior to the nineteen hundreds? It would almost seem as though trans* identities are a contemporary phenomenon, popping up at random during the last hundred years or so.

Well think again.

Leslie Feinberg’s Transgender Warriors not only fills in the gaps of the history books, but also reveals that gender diversity has existed for an incredibly long time. This book explores centuries of transgender communities; ranging from ancient Syria, right up to the modern world.

For anyone out there who believes that gender diversity is merely a by-product of the contemporary world, please check this book out: you’ll discover that trans* identities and communities are woven into the very fabrics of humankind.

Hello, Cruel World by Kate Bornstein

I’m sure that many people from all backgrounds have been in this position. You feel as though you weren’t designed for this universe, that any hope of obtaining happiness has slipped from your very fingertips, and that the only solution to your problems is to end this thing that everyone calls living.

I have been there on numerous occasions, but one month was worse than any of the others. I was still 19, I could no longer function in my day-to-day existence, nothing was working for me and the only answer seemed to lie in ending it as soon as possible. I’d had enough and I wanted to die. But lo and behold, this lovely little book fell out of the sky (not literally, though that would have been lovely), preventing me from thinking such ghastly thoughts any further.

Bornstein’s book not only celebrates the freedom and expression of gender diversity, but also acts as a self-help guide for anyone who’s feeling alone or suicidal. It doesn’t matter if you’re trans* or cis, Bornstein’s words cater for all kinds.

The book is laid out as a self-help guide, consisting of one hundred and one alternative methods to suicide. Some of the ideas consist of downright outlandish exercises, whereas others act as level headed alternatives to help change your mind.

This book reminds its readers that they’re far more unique and wonderful than they might think and that life is more adventurous than it sometimes seems. This is a truely wonderful book, written by a truely wonderful person.

The Lazy Crossdresser by Charles Anders

This happens to be the second book which I purchased after self-admitting that I was trans*. This is a friendly, somewhat simplistic guide to bending the rules of the gender binaries, mainly acting as a step-by-step guide for MTF crossdressers.

It was nice to read up on the segments concerning the applying of make-up, removing body hair, finding the right outfits, plucking eyebrows, and even venturing out into public. These were all subjects that either frustrated or terrified me at first, but reading Anders advice helped to make me feel a little more at ease with them.

Thanks Anders, you’ve made gender experimentation sound far more entertaining and adventurous than I had ever imagined it to be.

I hope that these resources have been of some use to anyone who might be reading this. Hopefully they will be as beneficial to you as they have been for me.

littlemisslillykat: Always a Reblog!

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 18:58:50 -0400

littlemisslillykat:

Always a Reblog!

A Sad Day (ill with Jealousy)

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 15:25:00 -0400

***Warning: rant filled post***

***This entry is mainly me having a neurotic and egocentric whinge about my present mood. I do like to keep my posts as positive as can be, but sometimes I may come across as pessimistic and pitiful toward myself. This is one of those less enthusiastic and more self-absorbed submissions. I do apologise dearly to anyone who may happen to read this***

Many know that jealousy can be a real dirty emotion. It can make you angry toward innocent people; turn you into a selfish fool; drain all the joy from your being; and hinder your motivation for lengthy periods.

When I started to read up on Trans* issues - many moons ago - one of the first fundamental rules that I learnt was to try and not be jealous of other Trans* people. If I ever came across a girl who was considered passable to our binary obsessed society, I should not feel ugly. If I was to hear the successful story of another girl being accepted with her new gender identity, I should not feel self-pity or anger.

I have tried to stick to this advice religiously, however, it is a rule which I sometimes break. Today, unfortunately, is one of those days, as jealousy has taken hold of my better half.

As I was looking through some profiles this evening, I came across one owned by a highly attractive teenage girl. She was 18 years of age, and looked a lot like the kind of girl who I would have been attracted to back in my college days.

As I read the rest of her info page, I discovered that she was, as a matter of fact, a Trans* girl. Suddenly, my heart stopped dead and my mind shot into overdrive. The first thing I did was I looked back to the days when I was 18. In those days, I was in great denial about my gender identity; ignoring its very existence; I was weightlifting profusely, trying to build a body that matched society’s idea of the sexy male teen; and I spent most of my time trying to find a girlfriend, believing that a relationship was the solution to my sadness. Basically, to cut a long story short, I was extraordinarily miserable at 18.

As I continued to look through this girl’s profile, I began to see that she seemed to have the life that I’ve always dreamt of having. She was astoundingly pretty, had a ton of friends, and was reminded endlessly by her contacts of how beautiful she was. From her profile’s pictures, it would also seem that she had a huge girly wardrobe, filled with the kinds of clothes that I have long dreamt of owning.

After about a minute, I closed the page; despising myself for not being her. I am now 21, I’m still in the closet (despite coming out to two friends), I’m still completely terrified of my parents discovering my secret, and I feel as though happiness is still light years away from reaching me.

Seeing this attractive, teenage girl – surrounded by her friends, experiencing endless support, owning countless outfits and filled with teenage joy – is something that should fill me with great delight. Her presence reminds us all that the universe is never always a bad place to be, and that being Trans* is never always a tragic and lonely tale. I should be excited and enthused by this profile; but sadly, on this day, I feel the complete opposite.

I try my best to go through life with a decent amount of optimism. I love to feel pride toward the success of others. Their achievements should motivate me to improve my own life, and remind me that things really can get better. Today just happens to be one of those days, however, where the joy of another fills me with sadness and jealousy.

But then again, I suppose that we all fall victim to our negative emotions at some point or another. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

***Sorry for the pessimism***

Photo

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 07:16:58 -0400

Update: 11 year old trans girl lost appeal [& will be institutionalized for transness]

Sun, 10 Jun 2012 17:00:10 -0400

Update: 11 year old trans girl lost appeal [& will be institutionalized for transness]:

quintessential-queer:

babstheartist:

msamberhazard:

msamberhazard:

tal9000:

transawareness:

The above article is an update. Her mother went to appeal to keep her out of the psychiatric ward and lost. She will be institutionalized because of her expression of her gender. She will be held until she conforms to male gender and then released to foster care, not her mother who was supporting her.

Please, if you haven’t signed the petition, sign it, reblog it, ask your friends to sign it. We’ve managed to get 40K signatures for a pageant model, we’ve only gotten 11K for a little girl about to have her life ruined. Lets get on the ball and spread the word.

Sign It.

I literally just repeated the f-word until I ran out of breath.

Let me catch my breath. I may go on a cursing spree again as soon as I get it back.

Seriously people…

WHY THE FUCK AREN’T PEOPLE REBLOGGING THIS??

holy fuck what

O_____________O